Show Rescheduled!!

The Big Debut of Paul and the Violent Farmers has been cancelled and rescheduled! Paulie will be performing Friday night, May 13th, at the Deja Vu Comedy Club in Columbia, MO.

Tell your friends and neighbors! Tell your enemies! Tell everyone!

And make sure you come out. I'll be there again. I'm going to call my buddy Jerry and try set up some poker or golf or both for Saturday. If you're interested in either or both, let me know!

A Shout Out to Boz

Yesterday my Grandmother called. She was so happy. My Grandpa had been reclassified by the Veteran's Administration from a 25% disability to 100%. This is going to make their lives much less complicated.

The idea to get my Grandpa reclassified came from Boz when he interviewed him for the POW project. He told me that most POWs from WWII are classified 100% by now. Once my Grandma, my Uncle, and my Dad were apprised of this information, they made sure my Grandpa did everything the VA asked to get reclassified.

So thanks again Boz. I already use this space to tell everyone how great it is to have the transcripts from my Grandpa's interview about his POW experiences. Now, they will have a lot more comfort in their golden years.

El Dulcedumbre

A musical parody to honor the return of Sweetness, sung to the tune of "Big Iron" by Marty Robbins.

9- IRON (THE BALLAD OF SWEET LOU)

To the town of cabeza grande rode a stranger one fine day
Hardly spoke to folks around him, didn't have too much to say
No one dared to ask his business, no one dared to make a slip
For the stranger there among them had a 9-iron on his hip
9-iron on his hip

It was early in the morning when he drove into the town
He came in slowly from the east side looking all around
"He's a high handicapper" came the whisper from each lip
And he's here to do some business with the 9-iron on his hip
9-iron on his hip

In this town (cabeza grande) there lived a golfer by the name of old Seamhead
Many men had tried to take him and that many men had failed
He was short, bald and cocky though a young man he was no more
And the notches on his putter numbered one and nineteen more
One and nineteen more

Now the stranger started talkin, made it plain to folks around
That his name was Sweetness (el dulcedumbre) and he wouldn't be too long in town
He'd come with his 9-iron to shoot a score in the red
H'd come to teach a lesson to his rival old Seamhead
His rival old Seamhead

Wasn't long before the story was relayed to old Seamhead
But Seamhead didn't worry, men that tried before had failed
Twenty men had tried to take him, twenty men had made a slip
Twenty-one would be the high handicapper with the 9-iron on his hip
9-iron on his hip

The morning passed so quickly, soon it was time for them to play
It was twenty past eleven when the two teed off that day
Folks were watching from their windows, everybody was tight-lipped
They knew the high handicapper was about to get his butt whipped
About to get his butt whipped

There were four hundred yards between them and the 18th green that day
And the fortunes of the high handicapper are still talked about today
For Seamhead had not cleared the water, and Sweet Lou let one rip
And Sweet Lou's aim was deadly with the 9-iron on his hip
9-iron on his hip

It was over in a moment and the folks had gathered round
There before them lay the putter of old Seamhead on the ground
Oh he might have went on winning but he made one fatal slip
When he tried to match el dulcedumbre with the 9-iron on his hip
9-iron on his hip


Well done Sweetness and many happy returns.

Big Show Rescheduled!!!!

The Big Debut of Paul and the Violent Farmers has been rescheduled! Paulie will be performing next Friday night, April 29th, at the Deja Vu Comedy Club in Columbia, MO.

Tell your friends and neighbors! Tell your enemies! Tell everyone!

And make sure you come out. I'll be there again. I'm going to call my buddy Jerry and try set up some poker or golf or both for Saturday. If you're interested in either or both, let me know!

Big Show Tonight!

Tonight, at the Deja Vu comedy club in Columbia, MO, Paulie makes his professional comedy club debut. I hope a bunch of you are coming. My sis' and I are meeting at 7:15 or so at the Flat Branch Brew Pub. Everyone is welcome to show up there and pregame with us.

If you have nothing to do tonight come on out! The shows are at 10:30 and 11:30 on the patio.

**UPDATE**
The big show has been cancelled because of the weather. Paul says it will be rescheduled for next Friday or the one after that. I will post it here as soon as I know. I will be at the show when it is rescheduled. We can get new plans going as soon as we know which day it will be. Paulie wants to thank everyone who was coming. He appreciates the effort and hopes you can come to the rescheduled show.

Tree Hugger

Here's Willa climbing the Magnolia tree in the front yard. I thought we needed to break up the monotony a little with a picture.

We went to the kindergarten school this evening and watched the kids sing. They were fantastic. Willa enjoyed performing, and Isa enjoyed the show.

I can't wait to see some other pictures up here!!! Let me know if you need some help.

You know what else we're waiting on? (Besides Dave and Lou)

Part 2 of Howdy's riveting tale.

Nascar Simulator

Today, Blog Daddy had the chance to sit in a Nascar Simulator. It was an old Nextel Cup car converted into a simulator. It was the #41 car of one of Paul's favorite Drivers, Casey Mears.

Blog Daddy hit many things. None of them were cars though, because they were all too far ahead. Rest assured, if he could have caught them, he would have hit them too.

It is probably best for Blog Daddy and his family that he is not a Nascar Driver.

Saturday Golf

On Saturday Blog Daddy, the league's leading money winner, went head-to-head with Jason and Dale again. This time, with no league money to affect his strategery, he pounded them. Jason made a valiant comeback on the back nine, but of course, he came up short. Blog Daddy hopes this victory inspires as much songwriting as his prize money victory did last week.

Blog Daddy would like to congratulate the Boz man. He and his brother traversed to Milwaukee this weekend and attended the Cardinals' three-game sweep of the Brew Crew. It also turns out the Miller boys are a bit masochistic. They attended an NBA game while they were there.

Nonetheless, they have turned the Cards around. If anyone would like to buy them tickets to future Cardinal games to maintain the momentum, I'm sure they would not turn those tickets down.

Beautiful Thursday

Today as Blog Daddy prepares to venture out on the first night of Golf League and punish Jason for his insolence, he wants to welcome Boz into the fold. He's in rhythm right away hitting us with some haiku.

Now, I want a couple of you other guys, who I will call Dave and Lou for this post so as not to reveal your identities, to see how Boz did it. First he joined the blog. Then he posted. Got that? Joined . . . then posted. Joined . . . then posted.

Now what the mysterious Dave and Lou have done is joined. And that's it! No posts. No Haiku. No kid intros. Sure we get a couple of stories in the comments, but we're looking for some real action here.

So get out there and post! Now!!

Big Announcement!

Hey guys, I'd like to announce a big star is coming to the Deja Vu Comedy Club in Columbia, Missouri. On Friday night April 22, Paul and The Violent Farmers will be appearing on the patio at the 'Vu for two shows, 10:30 and 11:30.

I plan on being there for both shows. I'd like to get some golf together for Saturday as well. I hope some of you guys show up! It will be a good time.

Let me know if you're going and want to play some golf! I can post directions if enough people are going.

Don't miss it!!

**UPDATE**
It now appears that I will have to work overtime on April 23rd. I won't be able to play or arrange any golf. I will still make the shows though. Come on out!!

Birthday Song for Seamhead

Happy 37th birthday to my big (some would say big-headed) brother! You are approaching middle age at a rate similar to the rate at which our natural resources here on earth are diminishing (damn fast!) and physically are not what you used to be (surely you've perceived this). But fear not, there are ways to overcome the limitations of your age and the inevitable mental and physical deterioration. My song for you:

YOU KEEP ME ROCKIN ALL NIGHT

I'm in love with a girl that I just met
She makes my heart pound and my palms sweat
She gets my motor to racing fast
I think this love is gonna last

When we're together nothing goes wrong
Her love keeps me going strong
She gets me hot when the lights go out
She taught me what real love is about

Cialis you keep me rockin all night
When I'm with you love sure feels right
Since I found you I've been feelin so good
Doin things I never knew I could

This love of mine makes everything new
And if you had her you'd feel it too
I don't care if she takes all my money
Cause her lovin makes me feel like I'm twenty

Now she and I, we make a strange pair
And sometimes when we're out, people stare
But I don't care what those people say
Her lovin takes my breath away

Cialis you keep me rockin all night
When I'm with you love sure feels right
Since I found you, I've been feelin so good
Doin things I never thought I would

Well, getting older ain't no fun
But with you, baby, I get things done
And I know your love will stick around
Until I'm six feet under the ground

Cialis you keep me rockin all night
And lovin you, it sure feels right
Since I met you, I've been feelin so good
Doin things I never knew I could

Repeat as many times as you like, but if the song lasts more than 4 hours, seek medical attention!

Without Delay

I don't usually like to post so quickly after others have posted, but this is an important one. I want to make something clear about what we've learned about Tom Delay over the past week. He was getting money from foreign agents. He was taking trips paid for by foreign agents.

Now, the trip he took in 1997 was financed by Russian foreign agents. Hmm, 1997. That's a little weird. Oh yeah!. That's when he told President Clinton that he would support a resolution to bomb Serbia, and then he marshaled his forces to defeat the resolution.

So, he was taking money from foreign agents who supported Slobodan Milosevic when he undermined the resolution in Congress. I thought that he just hated Clinton so much he'd rather support a mass murderer. I may have been wrong, but the truth may be much worse.

Living Will

On the advice of my sister I've decided to make provisions for when I'm hit in the head by one of Lloyd's shanked golf balls. I looked everywhere for some help, and Myron came through. Here's the living will I like the best.

Living Will



I, _________________________ (fill in the blank), being of
sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive
indefinitely by artificial means.

Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of
peckerwood ethically challenged politicians who couldn't pass
ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it.

If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to sit up
and ask for a cold beer, it should be presumed that I won't
ever get better. When such a determination is reached, I
hereby instruct my spouse, children and attending physicians
to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day.

Under no circumstances shall the hypocritical members of the
Legislature (State or Federal) enact a special law to keep
me on life-support machinery. It is my wish that these
boneheads mind their own damn business, and pay attention
instead to the health, education and future of the millions
of Americans who aren't in a permanent coma.

Under no circumstances shall any politicians butt into this
case.  I don't care how many fundamentalist votes they're
trying to scrounge for their run for the presidency, it is
my wish that they play politics with someone else's life
and leave me alone to die in peace.

I couldn't care less if a hundred religious zealots send
e-mails to legislators in which they pretend to care about
me.  I don't know these people, and I certainly haven't
authorized them to preach and crusade on my behalf. They
should mind their own business, too.

If any of my family goes against my wishes and turns my
case into a political cause, I hereby promise to come back
from the grave and make his or her existence a living hell.


Signature _____________________ DATE__________
Witness  _____________________ DATE__________

The Cardinals Take the Field

It's Chris Carpenter throwing today against Astros' ace Roy Oswalt. These aren't the same Astros the Cards played in the NLCS back in October. Their outfield will be totally different since the lone returnee, Lance Berkman, is sidelined with an injury. But anytime you beat Bagwell, Biggio, and Clemens it's a good win.

Forget about the off season. Forget about last season. Spring is here. Optimism abounds. Barring a slew of injuries, the Cardinals should be able maintain our optimism through October.

Right now the Cubs are tied for the division lead. I'm sure that's not going to last too long. Will the Cubs or Astros be able to give the Cards a run for their money? They both have pretty good pitching staffs. Both staffs need to avoid injury to have a shot.

The team that could surprise in the division is Cincinnati. The everyday lineup and the bullpen are solid. The starting staff has young pitchers and underrated pitchers. They don't have a reliable ace, however.

So it should be the Cards. The offense is the best in the National League. Four 15 game winners return to the starting staff. The bullpen should be dependable. Let the games begin.

Big Monday

It's Opening Day! It's 70 degrees and beautiful here in the 'Burg. If I were independently wealthy I'd be stalking the fairways at a local golf club. But I'm not, so I'm sitting here wishing the Cardinals were playing today.

I want to make an announcement today. The news is about a week old. We wanted to make sure we told everyone who doesn't need to find out by reading our blog.

My wife was offered a job at an elementary in school in Chatham, IL. Chatham is the school district where my nephew Parke attends school. It will also be the district were we plan to send Willa next year.

My wife is thrilled with her new position even though it won't be at the school where Parke and Willa will be going. It's a position similar to the one she had here in Warrensburg.

We are so excited to move. We have a lot to do before then, and it'll be here before we know it.

Hopefully by the time we get to move, the Cardinals will be in first place with big lead.

Friday Song

I am posting this tonight because it is unlikely I will have time to do it on Friday.

As you may or may not know, I recently spent a year in Charlottesville, Virginia, in order to obtain some additional training in my medical specialty. This part of Virginia, as well as the rest of the state, is exceptionally beautiful and rich in American history, and I highly recommend visiting if possible. I think they even race cars there! Charlottesville is just east of the Blue Ridge Mountains and about 25 miles from Shennendoah National Park, the Appalachian Trail, and the Blue Ridge Parkway, which offer fabulous vistas and lots to do for outdoor lovers. Unfortunately for me, however, the forces that be conspired to keep my wife and two sons in Missouri during this period of time. This song is about that year.

MOUNTAINS BLUE

Well I watched you, I watched you get on that plane
And I could barely, I could barely stand the pain
It's a long flight back to those mountains blue
And my head is hurtin cause I'm missing you
Well it's four more weeks till I'm home again
I hope some day, son, you'll understand
Cause I don't want to feel this way anymore
Yes I'm mountains blue, yes I'm mountains blue
Yes I'm mountains blue cause I'm missing you

I headed east to cross those mountains blue
Alone with just my thoughts and memories of you
My apartment was nothing but a cold, hard floor
And there was no one there to greet me when I opened the door
My only salvation hung there on the wall
Hearing your voice at night, when you would call
Now I came home from time to time, but things weren't the same
The leavin was always there, weighing on my mind

Well I watched you, I watched you get on that plane
And I could barely, I could barely stand the pain
It's a long flight back to those mountains blue
And my head is hurtin cause I'm missing you
Well it's four more weeks till I'm home again
I hope some day, son, you'll understand
Cause I don't want to feel this way anymore
Yes I'm mountains blue, yes I'm mountains blue
Yes I'm mountains blue cause I'm missing you

It was a long cold winter and it rained all spring
But the sun was shining the weekend you came
Well, it felt so good to hear you, to hear you laugh
And three days never went by, never went by so fast
I bet you don't remember climbing those mountains blue
But that's why the always make me think of you
Well, you had to go, you had to fly away
And I can't forget the look on your face, as I

I watched you, I watched you get on that plane
And I could barely, I could barely stand the pain
It's a long drive back to those mountains blue
And my heart is achin cause I'm missing you
Well it's four more weeks till I'm home again
I hope some day, son, you'll understand
Cause I don't want to feel like this ever again
Yes I'm mountains blue, yes I'm mountains blue
Yes I'm mountains blue cause I'm missing you

Now I'm back home and things are right
I'm there to tuck you into your bed each night
Any you fall asleep so fast cause you know I'm near
Seems you've forgotten all about that year
Well it's hard to say if leaving was right or wrong
But I didn't think one year would be so long
I thank my stars every night that I'm back with you
Instead of living in the shadow of those mountains blue

I watched you, I watched you get on that plane
I could barely, I could barely stand the pain
It's a long drive back to those mountains blue
And my heart is achin cause I'm missing you
Well it's four more weeks till I'm home again
I hope some day, son, you'll understand
Cause I don't want to feel like this ever again
Yes I'm mountains blue, yes I'm mountains blue
Yes I'm mountains blue cause I'm missing you

And I don't want to feel like this ever again
Yes I'm mountains blue, yes I'm mountains blue
Yes I'm mountains blue cause I'm missing you

That's the year in a nutshell! I'm glad it's over.

RWP

Making Cookies with Isa

I'd like to you all to meet Isa. Unlike Willa, there are plenty of you who haven't met her. She is quite hilarious. She doesn't really like to play with toys. She likes computer games, musical instruments, and audio-visual equipment. She will play with a toy if it happens to be one that Willa wants. She loves dogs and cats.

Isa turned 17 months old on the 23rd of March. She already likes to play tricks on people. She'll pretend she's going to give you something, and then she'll turn and run, giggling the whole time.

She already loves singing, dancing, and clapping along to music. She loves eating. She loves helping out in the kitchen. She loves being outside.

The best part of having two children is watching them together. Nothing makes Blog Daddy's heart warmer than watching them make each other laugh.

The last few weeks Isa is having an explosion in her vocabulary. Sometimes words fly out that she didn't even expect. She looks so excited when that happens. When you give her something (especially food) she says 'taytoo.' And it's the sweetest little 'thank you' you could ever hope to hear.

P.S. Her name is prounced 'eesa' like Lisa without an L.

Blog Daddy Returns

After a short vacation Blog Daddy has returned. The Daddy and his family spent a few days in Springfield, IL as guest of Roy and his family. They also spent a night in Jefferson City as a guest of Rochelle and her family.

Blog Daddy was able to spend an afternoon on the golf course with his brother. More importantly, Shelly had a job interview with representatives of several school districts in Sangamon County. According to her, it went splendidly.

Blog Daddy was extremely pleased to see the songs and other posts on the blog. He was overjoyed to see the results of another ultrasound. The Daddy fondly remembers how the ultrasound brought the first realizations that something was indeed alive in there.

Blog Daddy was also thrilled to see Carl Edwards take the racing world by storm. The Daddy loved seeing the kid do the flips off of his car after he won.

The Daddy has some pictures from the vacation. He will do the long overdue introduction of Isa. He also plans some Cardinal talk in the coming week. The Cards open in Houston on Tuesday, April 5th.

Paul's Friday Song Contribution

Since Roger mentioned this song a week or so ago, I thought I would start my first Friday song posting off with it. I'd also like to mention that Jeff's Friday song idea got me thinking, and I am doing something similar on my blog, except it's with haiku. It would be awesome if you guys checked it out and submitted a haiku. Here's the song:

Daddy

I know I was an accident/ I was a bastard child

Daddy left before I was born/ Before the child support was filled

Mom you always kept me in good supply of daddies along the way

I'm even counting that guy you made me call Uncle Bob/ Although I'm pretty sure he was gay

To make me fill good you always lied and told me dad got killed by a pack of goats

I don't know about that but there is one thing that I'd like to know

Did daddy have a big ass head?

Because mines as big as the moon

Did daddy have a big ass head?

Because mines all blown up like a balloon

Was he Charlie Brown or a Water Buffalo

the Elephant Man I'd like to know

Did daddy have a big ass head?

Did he use his head to flag in ships?
When he jumped real high did the sun eclipse?
When he got a hair cut was it an all day trip?

Did daddy have a big ass
Did daddy have a big ass
Did daddy have a big ass head?

He Doesn't Talk Back With Words

He doesn't talk back with words.
He doesn't have to. Sometimes you just know. Sometimes it is obvious. Like a burning bush. Or, walking away unscathed. I've been sitting on this story for a little while now. Partly because we have been dealing with this. Partly because I wanted to establish a "poster's presence" on the blog without a bias of shock or sympathy by posting this story first. Partly to put this behind us far enough to want to even share the story very far. But I've seen my queue. He can tell us things without talking.

Why were my wife and son driving in this small car? Because the milk my son had unknowingly spilt in the "safe" car had soaked into the seat and began to smell like the stench of a dead rodent. They were only going to be out a short time, so they took the Neon. She had worked a 1/2 day at the adoption agency and he had been at grandma's house. They were on their way home. A short 13 minute ride.

It was Jan 31st, one week after Wade's 3rd birthday and Michelle's first ultra-sound on the new baby, at approx 4pm when I received the proverbial dreaded call. The phone rang repeatedly, incessantly. Someone was desparate to reach me. I answered. It was my wife's voice, strained with emotion, "We've been in a bad car accident. Come as fast as you can. It's on Hwy 79. Hurry." The line went dead. Throwing down the phone, I flew from my desk chair, grabbed my coat and ran to the car. Trying to drive as fast as possible yet maintain calm and control, I hurried down the highway when suddenly the thought hit me "Did she just call me or did she call 911?". It was at that exact moment when I reached an intersection and saw the ambulance go flying by, lights and sirens ablaze. Knowing already that it was heading to the scene of my wife's accident, I tried to follow and keep up, but the ambulance soon distanced me leaving me to maneuver through the heavy afternoon traffic. Taking the shoulder on the right at about 40mph, I honked and flashed lights at cars who were trying to sneak a peek around the stalled line in front of them. Finally, when I was close enough to see the lights of the stopped rescue vehicles ahead, I made a dash across the line and took the opposite highway lane the rest of the way to the scene.

Like a 30 second MPEG video, I still recall with vivid clarity my first view of the scene. Me running the final steps toward the ambulance, my mother-in-law standing at the back of the open door. My wife sitting inside on a cushioned bench and holding my son while a squatting paramedic was feeling Wade's legs evaulating him for injuries. No blood, no visible broken bones, no external gore that I fully expected to to see. Rescue personnel were buzzing about everywhere. The ambulance interior seemed tiny and the doorway congested with various, fire, police, and rescue personnel popping their heads in and out. Seeing my family was secure for the moment, I quickly moved to look around at the chaos. A large number of on-lookers had gathered in the flat bottom field on the east side of the highway. Morbid curiosity had drawn the trailer dwellers out of their holes. Drivers of vehicles who narrowly missed being involved in the accident huddled and hurriedly recanted what just transpired before their disbelieving eyes. The scene was charged with the the kind of energy we humans exhalt in the aftermath of a catastriphic event like a devastating storm.

As I looked about, I began to spot the wrecked vehicles. A southbound red 95 Monte Carlo with a smashed rear end, some demolished car about 40 yards into the field-trailer dwellers nearby, a silver 2002 Hyundai Sante Fe with a crushed front end resembled a half smashed aluminum can. Not until after a double take of the scene did I realize the scrap of metal remains in the field was what was left of what was once "The Neon". That was our car? My sickened stomach sank into a bottomless pit which was quite a steep fall from being stuck in my throat. Already pale from shock, my face turned ash white.

TO BE CONTINUED........