Show Rescheduled!!

The Big Debut of Paul and the Violent Farmers has been cancelled and rescheduled! Paulie will be performing Friday night, May 13th, at the Deja Vu Comedy Club in Columbia, MO.

Tell your friends and neighbors! Tell your enemies! Tell everyone!

And make sure you come out. I'll be there again. I'm going to call my buddy Jerry and try set up some poker or golf or both for Saturday. If you're interested in either or both, let me know!

A Shout Out to Boz

Yesterday my Grandmother called. She was so happy. My Grandpa had been reclassified by the Veteran's Administration from a 25% disability to 100%. This is going to make their lives much less complicated.

The idea to get my Grandpa reclassified came from Boz when he interviewed him for the POW project. He told me that most POWs from WWII are classified 100% by now. Once my Grandma, my Uncle, and my Dad were apprised of this information, they made sure my Grandpa did everything the VA asked to get reclassified.

So thanks again Boz. I already use this space to tell everyone how great it is to have the transcripts from my Grandpa's interview about his POW experiences. Now, they will have a lot more comfort in their golden years.

El Dulcedumbre

A musical parody to honor the return of Sweetness, sung to the tune of "Big Iron" by Marty Robbins.

9- IRON (THE BALLAD OF SWEET LOU)

To the town of cabeza grande rode a stranger one fine day
Hardly spoke to folks around him, didn't have too much to say
No one dared to ask his business, no one dared to make a slip
For the stranger there among them had a 9-iron on his hip
9-iron on his hip

It was early in the morning when he drove into the town
He came in slowly from the east side looking all around
"He's a high handicapper" came the whisper from each lip
And he's here to do some business with the 9-iron on his hip
9-iron on his hip

In this town (cabeza grande) there lived a golfer by the name of old Seamhead
Many men had tried to take him and that many men had failed
He was short, bald and cocky though a young man he was no more
And the notches on his putter numbered one and nineteen more
One and nineteen more

Now the stranger started talkin, made it plain to folks around
That his name was Sweetness (el dulcedumbre) and he wouldn't be too long in town
He'd come with his 9-iron to shoot a score in the red
H'd come to teach a lesson to his rival old Seamhead
His rival old Seamhead

Wasn't long before the story was relayed to old Seamhead
But Seamhead didn't worry, men that tried before had failed
Twenty men had tried to take him, twenty men had made a slip
Twenty-one would be the high handicapper with the 9-iron on his hip
9-iron on his hip

The morning passed so quickly, soon it was time for them to play
It was twenty past eleven when the two teed off that day
Folks were watching from their windows, everybody was tight-lipped
They knew the high handicapper was about to get his butt whipped
About to get his butt whipped

There were four hundred yards between them and the 18th green that day
And the fortunes of the high handicapper are still talked about today
For Seamhead had not cleared the water, and Sweet Lou let one rip
And Sweet Lou's aim was deadly with the 9-iron on his hip
9-iron on his hip

It was over in a moment and the folks had gathered round
There before them lay the putter of old Seamhead on the ground
Oh he might have went on winning but he made one fatal slip
When he tried to match el dulcedumbre with the 9-iron on his hip
9-iron on his hip


Well done Sweetness and many happy returns.

Big Show Rescheduled!!!!

The Big Debut of Paul and the Violent Farmers has been rescheduled! Paulie will be performing next Friday night, April 29th, at the Deja Vu Comedy Club in Columbia, MO.

Tell your friends and neighbors! Tell your enemies! Tell everyone!

And make sure you come out. I'll be there again. I'm going to call my buddy Jerry and try set up some poker or golf or both for Saturday. If you're interested in either or both, let me know!

Big Show Tonight!

Tonight, at the Deja Vu comedy club in Columbia, MO, Paulie makes his professional comedy club debut. I hope a bunch of you are coming. My sis' and I are meeting at 7:15 or so at the Flat Branch Brew Pub. Everyone is welcome to show up there and pregame with us.

If you have nothing to do tonight come on out! The shows are at 10:30 and 11:30 on the patio.

**UPDATE**
The big show has been cancelled because of the weather. Paul says it will be rescheduled for next Friday or the one after that. I will post it here as soon as I know. I will be at the show when it is rescheduled. We can get new plans going as soon as we know which day it will be. Paulie wants to thank everyone who was coming. He appreciates the effort and hopes you can come to the rescheduled show.

Tree Hugger

Here's Willa climbing the Magnolia tree in the front yard. I thought we needed to break up the monotony a little with a picture.

We went to the kindergarten school this evening and watched the kids sing. They were fantastic. Willa enjoyed performing, and Isa enjoyed the show.

I can't wait to see some other pictures up here!!! Let me know if you need some help.

You know what else we're waiting on? (Besides Dave and Lou)

Part 2 of Howdy's riveting tale.

Nascar Simulator

Today, Blog Daddy had the chance to sit in a Nascar Simulator. It was an old Nextel Cup car converted into a simulator. It was the #41 car of one of Paul's favorite Drivers, Casey Mears.

Blog Daddy hit many things. None of them were cars though, because they were all too far ahead. Rest assured, if he could have caught them, he would have hit them too.

It is probably best for Blog Daddy and his family that he is not a Nascar Driver.

Saturday Golf

On Saturday Blog Daddy, the league's leading money winner, went head-to-head with Jason and Dale again. This time, with no league money to affect his strategery, he pounded them. Jason made a valiant comeback on the back nine, but of course, he came up short. Blog Daddy hopes this victory inspires as much songwriting as his prize money victory did last week.

Blog Daddy would like to congratulate the Boz man. He and his brother traversed to Milwaukee this weekend and attended the Cardinals' three-game sweep of the Brew Crew. It also turns out the Miller boys are a bit masochistic. They attended an NBA game while they were there.

Nonetheless, they have turned the Cards around. If anyone would like to buy them tickets to future Cardinal games to maintain the momentum, I'm sure they would not turn those tickets down.

Beautiful Thursday

Today as Blog Daddy prepares to venture out on the first night of Golf League and punish Jason for his insolence, he wants to welcome Boz into the fold. He's in rhythm right away hitting us with some haiku.

Now, I want a couple of you other guys, who I will call Dave and Lou for this post so as not to reveal your identities, to see how Boz did it. First he joined the blog. Then he posted. Got that? Joined . . . then posted. Joined . . . then posted.

Now what the mysterious Dave and Lou have done is joined. And that's it! No posts. No Haiku. No kid intros. Sure we get a couple of stories in the comments, but we're looking for some real action here.

So get out there and post! Now!!

Big Announcement!

Hey guys, I'd like to announce a big star is coming to the Deja Vu Comedy Club in Columbia, Missouri. On Friday night April 22, Paul and The Violent Farmers will be appearing on the patio at the 'Vu for two shows, 10:30 and 11:30.

I plan on being there for both shows. I'd like to get some golf together for Saturday as well. I hope some of you guys show up! It will be a good time.

Let me know if you're going and want to play some golf! I can post directions if enough people are going.

Don't miss it!!

**UPDATE**
It now appears that I will have to work overtime on April 23rd. I won't be able to play or arrange any golf. I will still make the shows though. Come on out!!

Birthday Song for Seamhead

Happy 37th birthday to my big (some would say big-headed) brother! You are approaching middle age at a rate similar to the rate at which our natural resources here on earth are diminishing (damn fast!) and physically are not what you used to be (surely you've perceived this). But fear not, there are ways to overcome the limitations of your age and the inevitable mental and physical deterioration. My song for you:

YOU KEEP ME ROCKIN ALL NIGHT

I'm in love with a girl that I just met
She makes my heart pound and my palms sweat
She gets my motor to racing fast
I think this love is gonna last

When we're together nothing goes wrong
Her love keeps me going strong
She gets me hot when the lights go out
She taught me what real love is about

Cialis you keep me rockin all night
When I'm with you love sure feels right
Since I found you I've been feelin so good
Doin things I never knew I could

This love of mine makes everything new
And if you had her you'd feel it too
I don't care if she takes all my money
Cause her lovin makes me feel like I'm twenty

Now she and I, we make a strange pair
And sometimes when we're out, people stare
But I don't care what those people say
Her lovin takes my breath away

Cialis you keep me rockin all night
When I'm with you love sure feels right
Since I found you, I've been feelin so good
Doin things I never thought I would

Well, getting older ain't no fun
But with you, baby, I get things done
And I know your love will stick around
Until I'm six feet under the ground

Cialis you keep me rockin all night
And lovin you, it sure feels right
Since I met you, I've been feelin so good
Doin things I never knew I could

Repeat as many times as you like, but if the song lasts more than 4 hours, seek medical attention!

Without Delay

I don't usually like to post so quickly after others have posted, but this is an important one. I want to make something clear about what we've learned about Tom Delay over the past week. He was getting money from foreign agents. He was taking trips paid for by foreign agents.

Now, the trip he took in 1997 was financed by Russian foreign agents. Hmm, 1997. That's a little weird. Oh yeah!. That's when he told President Clinton that he would support a resolution to bomb Serbia, and then he marshaled his forces to defeat the resolution.

So, he was taking money from foreign agents who supported Slobodan Milosevic when he undermined the resolution in Congress. I thought that he just hated Clinton so much he'd rather support a mass murderer. I may have been wrong, but the truth may be much worse.

Living Will

On the advice of my sister I've decided to make provisions for when I'm hit in the head by one of Lloyd's shanked golf balls. I looked everywhere for some help, and Myron came through. Here's the living will I like the best.

Living Will



I, _________________________ (fill in the blank), being of
sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive
indefinitely by artificial means.

Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of
peckerwood ethically challenged politicians who couldn't pass
ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it.

If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to sit up
and ask for a cold beer, it should be presumed that I won't
ever get better. When such a determination is reached, I
hereby instruct my spouse, children and attending physicians
to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day.

Under no circumstances shall the hypocritical members of the
Legislature (State or Federal) enact a special law to keep
me on life-support machinery. It is my wish that these
boneheads mind their own damn business, and pay attention
instead to the health, education and future of the millions
of Americans who aren't in a permanent coma.

Under no circumstances shall any politicians butt into this
case.  I don't care how many fundamentalist votes they're
trying to scrounge for their run for the presidency, it is
my wish that they play politics with someone else's life
and leave me alone to die in peace.

I couldn't care less if a hundred religious zealots send
e-mails to legislators in which they pretend to care about
me.  I don't know these people, and I certainly haven't
authorized them to preach and crusade on my behalf. They
should mind their own business, too.

If any of my family goes against my wishes and turns my
case into a political cause, I hereby promise to come back
from the grave and make his or her existence a living hell.


Signature _____________________ DATE__________
Witness  _____________________ DATE__________

The Cardinals Take the Field

It's Chris Carpenter throwing today against Astros' ace Roy Oswalt. These aren't the same Astros the Cards played in the NLCS back in October. Their outfield will be totally different since the lone returnee, Lance Berkman, is sidelined with an injury. But anytime you beat Bagwell, Biggio, and Clemens it's a good win.

Forget about the off season. Forget about last season. Spring is here. Optimism abounds. Barring a slew of injuries, the Cardinals should be able maintain our optimism through October.

Right now the Cubs are tied for the division lead. I'm sure that's not going to last too long. Will the Cubs or Astros be able to give the Cards a run for their money? They both have pretty good pitching staffs. Both staffs need to avoid injury to have a shot.

The team that could surprise in the division is Cincinnati. The everyday lineup and the bullpen are solid. The starting staff has young pitchers and underrated pitchers. They don't have a reliable ace, however.

So it should be the Cards. The offense is the best in the National League. Four 15 game winners return to the starting staff. The bullpen should be dependable. Let the games begin.

Big Monday

It's Opening Day! It's 70 degrees and beautiful here in the 'Burg. If I were independently wealthy I'd be stalking the fairways at a local golf club. But I'm not, so I'm sitting here wishing the Cardinals were playing today.

I want to make an announcement today. The news is about a week old. We wanted to make sure we told everyone who doesn't need to find out by reading our blog.

My wife was offered a job at an elementary in school in Chatham, IL. Chatham is the school district where my nephew Parke attends school. It will also be the district were we plan to send Willa next year.

My wife is thrilled with her new position even though it won't be at the school where Parke and Willa will be going. It's a position similar to the one she had here in Warrensburg.

We are so excited to move. We have a lot to do before then, and it'll be here before we know it.

Hopefully by the time we get to move, the Cardinals will be in first place with big lead.