Living Will
I, _________________________ (fill in the blank), being of
sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive
indefinitely by artificial means.
Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of
peckerwood ethically challenged politicians who couldn't pass
ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it.
If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to sit up
and ask for a cold beer, it should be presumed that I won't
ever get better. When such a determination is reached, I
hereby instruct my spouse, children and attending physicians
to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day.
Under no circumstances shall the hypocritical members of the
Legislature (State or Federal) enact a special law to keep
me on life-support machinery. It is my wish that these
boneheads mind their own damn business, and pay attention
instead to the health, education and future of the millions
of Americans who aren't in a permanent coma.
Under no circumstances shall any politicians butt into this
case. I don't care how many fundamentalist votes they're
trying to scrounge for their run for the presidency, it is
my wish that they play politics with someone else's life
and leave me alone to die in peace.
I couldn't care less if a hundred religious zealots send
e-mails to legislators in which they pretend to care about
me. I don't know these people, and I certainly haven't
authorized them to preach and crusade on my behalf. They
should mind their own business, too.
If any of my family goes against my wishes and turns my
case into a political cause, I hereby promise to come back
from the grave and make his or her existence a living hell.
Signature _____________________ DATE__________
Witness _____________________ DATE__________
Thursday, April 07, 2005
Living Will
On the advice of my sister I've decided to make provisions for when I'm hit in the head by one of Lloyd's shanked golf balls. I looked everywhere for some help, and Myron came through. Here's the living will I like the best.
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10 comments:
You'd better sign this before your bout with the Dancing Dago!
Don't get Roho involved, though. You'll wish you were dead after getting her bill.
Oh, sure. He gets comments for this and I can't get a peep out of anyone about the actual forms I provided in my first post ever. You guys are discouraging me from public service!
It's all about the timing. Plus, your post didn't have the word 'BEER' in it.
MD your screwed
what do you mean Rocky makes sense?? She's a lawyer for God's sake. She doesn't even want to make sense.
If you post something without Beer or Cardinals or trains or prison or Mama on here, you risking a big fat ZERO in the comments.
Myron, the rules are 5-7-5
I think Rocky should rewrite her post, and wherever it says anything boring or wordy she should put "blah, blah, blah, beer" in place of it. She could then see how many comments she gets and compare it to her original posting.
I thought that posting this would incite some insightful repartee on current events. Looks like I was right again.
I guess I'll have to be like somebody I know (let's call him "Jeffrey Arrigo") and resort to commenting multiple times to my own posts without any intervention from a real commentator.
Sorry hypothetical person, I couldn't resist!
P.S. Seamhead - you're right. Clarity is the antithesis of job securty for someone in my profession!
I'm just saying that maybe a person should not post something and then be the first commentator and then have multiple comments without anyone else intervening.
That said, this is a blog designed to reignite camaraderie and discussion amongst old friends. In other words, do what you will.
P.S. From now on, that's "Blog Nazi, Esquire" if you please!
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