A musical parody to honor the return of Sweetness, sung to the tune of "Big Iron" by Marty Robbins.
9- IRON (THE BALLAD OF SWEET LOU)
To the town of cabeza grande rode a stranger one fine day
Hardly spoke to folks around him, didn't have too much to say
No one dared to ask his business, no one dared to make a slip
For the stranger there among them had a 9-iron on his hip
9-iron on his hip
It was early in the morning when he drove into the town
He came in slowly from the east side looking all around
"He's a high handicapper" came the whisper from each lip
And he's here to do some business with the 9-iron on his hip
9-iron on his hip
In this town (cabeza grande) there lived a golfer by the name of old Seamhead
Many men had tried to take him and that many men had failed
He was short, bald and cocky though a young man he was no more
And the notches on his putter numbered one and nineteen more
One and nineteen more
Now the stranger started talkin, made it plain to folks around
That his name was Sweetness (el dulcedumbre) and he wouldn't be too long in town
He'd come with his 9-iron to shoot a score in the red
H'd come to teach a lesson to his rival old Seamhead
His rival old Seamhead
Wasn't long before the story was relayed to old Seamhead
But Seamhead didn't worry, men that tried before had failed
Twenty men had tried to take him, twenty men had made a slip
Twenty-one would be the high handicapper with the 9-iron on his hip
9-iron on his hip
The morning passed so quickly, soon it was time for them to play
It was twenty past eleven when the two teed off that day
Folks were watching from their windows, everybody was tight-lipped
They knew the high handicapper was about to get his butt whipped
About to get his butt whipped
There were four hundred yards between them and the 18th green that day
And the fortunes of the high handicapper are still talked about today
For Seamhead had not cleared the water, and Sweet Lou let one rip
And Sweet Lou's aim was deadly with the 9-iron on his hip
9-iron on his hip
It was over in a moment and the folks had gathered round
There before them lay the putter of old Seamhead on the ground
Oh he might have went on winning but he made one fatal slip
When he tried to match el dulcedumbre with the 9-iron on his hip
9-iron on his hip
Well done Sweetness and many happy returns.
8 comments:
This is pure propaganda. Maybe we'll get a chance to test this out on Saturday.
This is fiction.
It sounds pretty sound to me. By the way Roy excellent tune.
As far as prpaganda is concerned it was written by your brother. How could it be propaganda? It probably killed him to tell such a story knowing what it would do to you. The truth must be told and the truth will set you free. Always remember Seamhead you your family and friends around you for support. Admitting your denial is half the battle
Lou
Do you want me to write a story about the last time we played? I think I won by ELEVEN strokes.
Lloyd
I've always wondered how your many nicknames were conceived. Can you or any others on this blog elucidate?
I know that "Sir Louis Sweatpants" was created by Jeffrey A. and I think "Sweetness" is just something Lloyd always used to say thereby deriving it and the spinoff of "Sweet Lou". "Louis Lloyd"--A first and middle name combo or just an expanded derviative of the above?
I know that Lewis Lloyd was a name given to him by Rusty A. There was a guard for the Houston Rockets in the mid '80s name Lewis Lloyd. All his other nicknames are a derivative of Lewis Lloyd.
I like el dulcedumbre. It rolls off the tongue nicely, but then again, so does Lewis Lloyd.
Some Spanish dictionaries, but not all, say it means sweetness, but not being fluent in Spanish, I cannot be certain of the accuracy of this. Is Louis Dulce correct? Or Dulzura?
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